It's a Rat race from the Cradle to the Grave

Watching BBC Breakfast today I came across something that really made me think about the way in which modern society operates. Discussing parenting a couple and their young child were in the studio, the mother raving about how good the child aged about 5 was at his language skills etc. A proud parent you would think and rightly so.

However what later emerged was the discussion of parenting and that the mother had a full-time job as did the father and this case study was justification for working mothers to continue working and have a career. The fact that the child in his all too pristine school uniform was maybe ahead of his peers in terms of numeracy and literacy, proved that working mothers are able to raise well balanced children just like any mother staying at home. The discussion then moved onto comparing the 21st century situation of working mothers and fathers to that in the 1950's where mothers would "stay" at home and look after the "home". The point being made that in the 50's most mothers were most likely too busy with housework to spend quality time with their children etc and that it was no better a situation than what we have today.

The young family in question was quite obviously middle class , most likely sending their son to a top of the range school and having all the means to provide the best education for the child in order for him to leap frog his peers in terms of educational standard. However is this how society should judge it's future by the understanding language and numbers?

Having children is a conscious decision people (well most people) make, and this means like any other decision in life it has to dealt with seriousness and care. Although in a career focused world like the one in which most children in the UK are born, the child has to immediately compete for attention with the careers of it's parents. Being the father of a 2 year old myself I know for a FACT that my daughter would prefer that I stayed at home with her than go to work, not because I can teach her A's from her B's but because children crave love and attention. I am not in any way saying that anyone should shun the obligations of providing materially for their children. However when the prevalent culture is to shun the love and attention the child craves for the sake of fulfilling personal dreams of "success" and "career" then there is something wrong with societies perception of priorities in life.

Herein lies the fundamental problem with society from the cradle to the grave it's one big rat race, a race most don't comprehend and no one wins. The competitive nature of human beings sometimes manifests itself in the worst ways where children are concerned. The constant need to compare your child with someone else's even to the point of how much food they eat and at what age they were fully potty trained is so common I find it disturbing.

Everyone must have heard of the middle class mums in suburban London who will do anything to get their children into the nursery / kinder garden / school of choice, who will go to pick up their kids in a SUV because it's the "in" thing. Not any old SUV but the most desirable one , you know the Land Rover or X5 eco-hating-gas-guzzling-make-you-look-rich kind. These mainly young women married to rich footballers or something of that ilk stand at the school gates with their £5000 Prada handbags "competing" with the other Mums, and what is the subject of the competition? that's it their Kids. The little people who just want to go home and watch the Simpsons, which is quite ironically a metaphor for dysfunctional families in America.

Before the little darlings know what has hit them they are in primary school then off to piano lessons and by the age of 12 they must have an appreciation of Shupan only Shupan could have had. If you are not Prada wearing then swap Shupan for Football, Karate whatever and you have the same situation a kid made the centre of some freak show devised by adults to hide their own lack of self worth.

The point is why is there a fascination with competing kids? It is all too correct that children must be brought up in the best manner; with the best characteristics and given the best start in life. But when we equate all this to material and academic success is it little wonder either children turn into grown adults detached from life and lost in a race to fulfill some half-baked pipe dream of a career, or conversely, at some stage lost a "who had the best handwriting" competition at school and then were forever shunned and ended up in some "hoodie" wearing gang who think its fun to mug old ladies for a laugh.

Wouldn't it be better if rather than building competitiveness in Children we built basic ideas such as respect, honour , dignity and humility? Surely this would make them better contributors to society when they grow up. They might not be the best A, B,C'ers in the class but if they knew that the aim of their life was not to achieve for themselves but to better the societies in which they live maybe there could be a ray of hope for future generations.

As Muslims the situation is no different it seems sometimes Muslims are worse at these competitions that anyone else. However the competitiveness should only be in good deeds.